Me too!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize