I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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