Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
