I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
