3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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