Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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