She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
