Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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