If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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