You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
