Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
