Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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