The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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