you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
