using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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