I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
