i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
