turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
