i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
