Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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