when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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