I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize