Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Welp...herpes.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
