Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
