My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
