I can tuck mytits in my pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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