it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
