He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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