is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize