or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
