what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's blow job season.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
