i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
