Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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