Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
