Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it's like iHOP with fire
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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