Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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