Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
