Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
