you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
