i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
