We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize