my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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