i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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