420 ftw
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
