dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
