I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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