we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
