He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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