Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
