He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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