it wasn't lemon gatorade
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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