party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
