Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
