I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think I sprained my soul last night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
