I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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