the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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