In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize