She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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