Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
