you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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