You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
