we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
