And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
