At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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